Home from choir practice. We practiced this Saturday’s mass, and the Christmas songs we’re singing on the Christmas midnight mass too. I love choir. I’m still getting adjusted, and I’m still a little shy, but I really like going. Now I have to do biology homework. FUUUU. But still, other than that, I had a pretty good day. Ended it with chop suey, pho, lychee boba and singing. Yes
I kept saying that I was going to make tea, and then go to sleep, but I never got around to making tea. So I guess I’m just going to sleep then. Good night. Apparently tomorrow is going to be a big day full of emotion. I can’t handle any more emotion right now. I hope my mood is happier later today. Then again, what do I expect. I surrounded myself with negativity, so I of course would be negative.
"Happy thoughts." -Betty. Betty, I need to be more like you.
I miss playing billiards with my cousins and uncles. I miss our sari-sari store. I miss watching my nephew drink his bottle of milk as I drink my bottle of sarsi or royal. I miss my little cousins Meeka and Nicole learning how to speak English by watching the videotapes we bought for them. I miss the mosquito bites. I miss hating the mosquito bites. I miss sitting down with my cousin JP and talking for hours from sun up to sun down. I miss the cold showers that I had to take, and the occasional hot shower I could take if we could get lucky. I miss living on the farm. I miss wearing chinelas while walking down the block without people staring. I miss walking down the street to visit my grandma’s grave. I miss Rambo, my grandpa’s dog. I miss walking my cousins to school. I miss our tricycle and jeepney. I miss the chickens, the fat pig, the turtle doves, and goat we have. I miss home.
So in English today Jer and I were talking casually. I forgot what we were talking about but I remember the thought running through my mind that I said out loud. “Everyone I know is going to be at least somewhat successful, and I’m going to be stuck here, doing my thing, what ever that is.” Then he just flat out told me, I’m going to get a job, I’m gonna go to college, I’m gonna get a better job, and that’s the end of that.
In my mind, I don’t even know if I can go to college straight after high school. My family just can’t stretch that far financially, even if I get scholarships. I wouldn’t mind joining the work force straight after high school instead, but where does my education go? It troubles me that I don’t have things quite figured out as some of my friends.
I feel refreshed. I’m sick, and I only got probably less than an hour of sleep last night. I took the best nap in the world…but I napped through all the K-Arts controversy. I’m sorry Aaron, that Saul has his claws pointed at you now instead of Belinda. I know he’ll lose his momentum and his drive to obliterate you off the planet will die down, and he’ll just stick to keeping quiet about the situation and hopefully come to accept the changes at hand. Until then, I promise to give you the same amount of crap I’ve been giving you, show producer or not <3. -Boba Bro